We don't always get what we want.

Do you know what I really want to do? I want to lie on my bed and fall asleep unknowingly while thinking of you and then wake up in the morning, stay in bed and continue to think of all the times about us and just be that way for a month, but I can't. I can't. I cannot even try to pretend that I like you because I really don't, and I can't think of all the times we hung out and laughed, because I don't remember your freaking face. And when I do, the image lets up after half a minute, for some goddamn noble reason. That is why I can't. 

I don't know, actually, if human nature does allow us to be deprived of what we want. It probably does. That explains a lot. Albeit, I still must say, I hate this deprived deprived state. I don't feel anything. I cannot be happy, angry, confused, or even sad. It is as if something in me died, and as usual, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.