And although I've made up my mind, my heart is refusing me.

The thing I think I love will surely bring me pain.

You can't play our broken strings.

We're running through the fire, when there's nothing left to say. It's like chasing the very last train, when we both know it's too late.

My feelings woke me up in the middle of the night.

What you were giving me were nothing but a heartless lullaby.

We are all somewhat damaged.

SHIT HAPPENS,









mostly to me so don't worry.

I am on my way to brighter days.

It's okay. I knew you'd leave.





Everyone does.

You weren't just a star to me, you were my whole damn sky.

This rain. These songs. It's all making my heart that has been screaming & crying in pain to realization how broken, abandoned & lonely it really is right now.


"When you're happy, you enjoy the music, but when you're sad, you understand the lyrics."- Frank Ocean.

 I got so high when you were with me, but crashed & craved when you left.

我承认，我需要你.

如今各自在人海流浪.

伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗?

Funny. You're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving.

我需要你.

I think your mouth should be quiet because it never tells the truth.

They are fucking everywhere.

Insensitive assholes everywhere.

I wasn't sure whether I missed him, or whether I was scared of my uncertain future.

Worst valentines'

Okay, the only good thing about today is that I am finally, very, super duper, sure that I am definitely going to get over you soon. You have a habit of tossing me away as and when you like & picking me up again, heal my scars, then toss me into the heap of thing you no longer have interesting. 

-

Shame on me but joke's on you.

Is it right?

Is it even right to feel this empty?

I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.

"Change is constant."

Once upon a time, I came across a blog post which talked about change and there was this line that stuck, "Change is constant." From then, I have always thought change to be a hindrance. And however much I have grown to hate it, that very line stayed true.

Vivian caught me doing something stupid. something that included my wrist &; staple bullets. Yeah, I know; " Hello, 2013 already lah." but, what do you know?
I then when into tears because I realized how stupid I was. True, something happened right before this happened but, really I swear it definitely not because of that. It was because I need a excuse to let everything out. To get this overwhelming amount of sadness inside of me, out.

Cutting probably released 40% of the sadness shit & crying for 10 minutes plus released maybe 20% & as for the remaining 40%, I'd let it grow to be a cannot tahan state & I'll just repeat the damn cycle again.

If i ever take you for granted, hit me in the face and tell me what a fucktard i am.

To judge a man by his weakest link or deed is like judging the power of the ocean by one wave

Truckloads of love.

Who was I to believe more than that?

Along the way, I made myself believe that in your eyes, I was different, special, loved and irreplaceable. But time and again, I was proved wrong. I can never be the same as them. I was not on par. It was clear. You enjoyed much more with them. I was the unknowing substitute, or so it felt. Probably by some form of unsaid requirement, you told me the things I wanted to hear, said the things that made me laugh. However much I try, I can never be that golden, prized triangle in the unseen hierarchy. I was only, still am and will  be second best. Who was I to believe more than that?

Him.

He was just this silly boy who made me cry a lot. A silly boy who lied, and filled the gaps with "I love you" when he didn't know what else to say.

So what..

So what if I admitted that I miss you, that I still like you. It's not as if you feel the same way. You just want to hear me admitting those for you own entertainment, to feel significant, right?

Perfection.

He's perfection. I've never felt like this. I can't imagine anything I want more than having him by my side every day. It actually scares me.

If it helps...

If it helps in any way, the person who is hurting the most in all this is me. People like you don't come around often, and I may never meet another. If you ever find a way to forgive me, I will be waiting.

My gut feeling I guess.

"How did you know you loved him?" How did you know he was... well, the one?"


"Well, er... I just know, I guess, I just felt like everything was right with her, and the thought of being without her made me feel totally lost, it's just a gut feeling, you can't really explain it."

Those emotions you'd buried under a heap of egotistical bullshit. All the crappy phrases your friends had reel off to salve the wounds: "There's still plenty of fishes in the sea." or "We didn't really liked him anyways..."