I'm falling in love and it's falling apart,I need to find my way back to the start.

How pointless can this get?

I keep thinking of the things that will never be. It gives me false hopes, but it keeps me happy for that split second. I look at you in wonder if you will ever know, if I had made it the obvious. I spend hours working on subjects I hate, maybe one day if I am good enough, those grades will turn into straight A's. I read books I will never study because I just want to know if I might be happier being able to choose something she will never approve of.

Just wondering..

if I could erase memories in someone's head, what are the kinds I would erase? I decided on the happy memories. You see, if happy never existed, pain will never hurt. However,if you asked; why not erase the painful ones? The thing about pain is that you can never outrun it. You can ride it out and wait for it to subside, but life always makes more. 

Already gone.

I am backing out. I am not playing anymore. This is it. Call me a coward, a loser but I am terrified of getting hurt, so you play your little game with someone else. Without me. 

Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.